WORD OF THE YEAR: INTENTIONAL

Intentional: done on purpose, deliberate

Intentionality is something I've found myself meditating on a lot this year. Intentionality in many different aspects, specifically in regards to relationships. Intentional in my parenting and time with Thea, intentional in the relationship with my husband and being a wife first and mom second, and intentional in strengthening my relationship with God and making designated time to spend with Him. I think these are all areas that pretty much all of us strive for.

But one that has been coming to me recently is being intentional in friendships. 

We've been doing a series at church called "One Another" that has just really brought these desires home and convicted me. I think as adults, maintaining friendships is something that falls by the wayside in the busyness of all the other things I mentioned. Of course, our relationship with God and our spouses and children are and should be our priorities but if there's one thing that has really spoken to me during this series, it's the importance of friendship. Not just surface level friendship, but truly caring for people and finding people that you can be transparent and do life with. 

I can look at my life and see several friends. People I work with, people I go to church with, friends from different facets of my life. But when I'm honest, there's not many that I could consider those real kind of friends. People who you talk to outside of work, outside of church, etc. People who invest in your life. People you can share struggles with without fear of judgment. 

I don't say that as a "poor me, I have no friends", I say that because I haven't been intentional in this area. I haven't done my part to be invested in the life of others. I've often struggled with insecurity and wondering why some of my friendships have never moved beyond the workplace, church, or wherever. Why even people who I do consider a friend always seem more interested in hanging out with someone else. Or why there just seemed to be a lack of connection beyond the superficial. It feels really vulnerable to say that...but then I realize that that's exactly where the enemy wants me to be. When I am lost in that mentality, when I struggle with the insecurity, I don't step outside of my comfort zone. I don't initiate conversations or go out of my way to make someone feel that I truly care. 

In this series, we learned how God calls us to LOVE one another, Share our BURDENS with one another, CONFESS to one another, SERVE one another, and to MOTIVATE one another. These are the marks of true friendship and why God shows us time and time again that these relationships are important. Why He tells us not to forsake the gathering of believers. When we pour into other's lives, we'll find that they'll likely pour into ours too. BUT even if they don't, we are still called to be that kind of friend. Maybe I'm the only one that struggles with this and lets the busyness of my own life hinder me from developing these kind of friendships, but I'm convicted to make that my goal. The definition of intentional, as I posted at the beginning, is "done on purpose" or "deliberate". That means it takes thought. For some people this is a gift that comes naturally, but probably for the majority it's something that means we have to deliberately decide to do it. And that means stepping outside the comfort zone and maybe feeling uncomfortable. Thank you to the friends who have spoken into my life. Your friendship means more than you know.